“Moon landing was fake!!!” “You still believe the moon is real?”
This was highly effective when I used it in real life.
The conspiracy theorist got real mad demanding I name sources, I kept telling him to find it on the internet with fake search terms.
I would have screamed “do your own research!” before just leaving.
congress is full of marxist-leninist-pelosi-ists who intentionally cause inflation to distract us from finding obama’s birth certificate! google “MLP inflation” if yu don’t believe me!
I once got on the topic of the moon lending with a creationist co-worker. He said he wasn’t sure, but that if it happened we should be able to see it from satellite pictures. So I said “yeah you can”, pulled it up, and zoomed in on a landing site. You couldn’t see footprints or anything, but you could see the shadow of the flag next to clearly man-made debris
I showed him exactly what he agreed would be proof in a difficult to fake form, and it just temporarily nudged the needle for him
Now, I fight conspiracies with the opposite conspiracies.
Earth is a 4D hypersphere, the earth isn’t hollow, Agatha is just another part of the surface reached by holes
The elites are hiding all the best vaccines, like the ones that cure cancer
I recently watched “Brief history of the Wrong Earths” by Hardcore Sci-Fi, not many of these are well known so you could have so much more ammunition for fooling around like that with people.
“flat earth? Nah, it’s expanding bro! Oh wait actually it’s 9 hollow earths one in another!”
I once heard of a pediatrician who successfully convinced a concerned mother that anti-vax ideology was likely a psyop by the Russians to weaken the health of the American populace starting with our children. Doesn’t hurt that it’s probably true.
EDIT: My personal conspiracy theory is that the Chinese government did engineer (or at least selectively cultivate) COVID, but not to kill Americans. In the early days of the pandemic there was some speculation that it affected some blood types more than others, particularly type A. While no link to blood type specifically was found, type A is a more common genetic trait as you move out of Asia and towards the middle east. China has been heavily persecuting the Uyghurs (Chinese Muslims), and those who have managed to get out of the camps have reported medical experimentation and being injected with unknown substances. In addition, the virus would also kill a significant number of the older population, which is important because of the population crunch they’re about to experience due to one-child policies resulting in a high amount of female-specific infanticide. They’re about to have a bunch of old people and a massive shortage of able bodied young people to care for them. Even if they didn’t directly “engineer” the virus in a gene-sequencing manner, they have a lot off motive to just generally cultivate and spread (you can’t really “breed” a virus) an infectious disease targeting people of middle eastern descent and elders.
Thank you for coming to my tinfoil-hat Ted Talk.
The one child policy has been abolished a good while before covid.
That doesn’t change the distribution of demographics by itself. Even assuming the birth rate skyrocketed after the nixing of the one child policy, it takes ~20 years before those people are working age.
How are China’s stringent lockdowns explained in this conspiracy theory? Also, where do I sign up as a member?
Well you can’t not do that, especially not if you’re already known for doing that kind of thing anyway for other things.
Jet fuel doesn’t need extra tanks of mind control agent, they’re already using leaded fuel
lead is in avgas for prop planes, not jet fuel.
*I guess turboprops also use jet fuel so I should have said small GA planes but you get the point.
We really need to get rid of that.
I fondly remember reading a comment in /r/conspiracy on a post claiming a geologic seismic weapon brought down the towers.
It just tore into the claims, citing all the reasons this was preposterous bordering on batshit crazy.
And then it said “and your theory doesn’t address the thermite residue” going on to reiterate their wild theory.
Was very much a “don’t name your gods” moment that summed up the sub - a lot of people in agreement that the truth was out there, but bitterly divided as to what it might actually be.
As long as they only focused on generic memes of “do your own research” and “you aren’t being told the truth” they were all on the same page. But as soon as they started naming their own truths, it was every theorist for themselves.
I once tried to get a conspiracy theory going that Flat Earth was a fake conspiracy started by the government to cover up the real conspiracy - that the moon is flat. That’s why we only ever see one side of it and why we were able to land on it. It didn’t take lol.
I just need people to know that they didn’t fake the moon landing, that really happened. They faked the moon. It didn’t exist prior to the 1960s when it was created by the US government in order to move the goalposts in the space race.
The insider knowledge that there would soon be a moon to land on gave NASA the head start they needed on the Apollo program to finally beat the Soviets, who were thoroughly blindsided by the sudden appearance of the moon.
This is bullshit. What we see as the moon is actually the earth, after the reptillians ruined it. What we live on is actually a domed space station orbiting the moon-earth.
We didnt go to the moon, we went back to the moon.
why we were able to land on it.
This is why you failed. Everyone knows the moon landing was fake and directed by Kubrick.
Yes, but you know how Kubrick was. He made them film on location.
Dank memes can’t melt steel beams.
7/11 was a part time job.
My best friend has an unnatural talent for this sort of thing and really enjoys toying with conspiracy theory nuts.
When folks start talking about crazy shit, it makes me very anxious and I tend to shut down. Not my buddy. He eggs them on, encourages it, and gets them to say things or agree with things that are even more outlandish than where they conversation started. Things will start at “China invented covid to kill off old people” and somehow end up at “Hillary Clinton paid to have her chromosomes added to the covid vaccines so that DNA evidence can no longer be used against her in the courts”.
I love this method and employ it at bars. It’s like gonzo conversationalism.
Wasn’t that somewhat how Q-anon started?
I think that basically is yeah. Then, when they saw that it had gathered a following, admins on a #chan who were pro-Trump and think that they’re super smart because they use Haskell took over to pump up fringe support.
Yeah, but how do I know that what you just wrote isn’t another conspiracy theory? I’m just so confused
Oh that’s just the normal effect of the alien mind control rays.
I like to just be the crazier one. Flat earth? You still believe in an earth, you silly goose egg.
I’m part of the no-moon society. Flat earth?! How about the fact that the moon is fake!?
The sun revolves around the earth just like the moon.
Every conspiracy theory should have some way to bet on it.
Can I be the house?
It sounds like you’re conspiring against us, so yes.
Lies!
Everybody knows that the terrorists on the planes aimed them at the floor containing the Illuminati outpost and it was the fire from the cooling liquid for the supercomputers used to mind control everybody in New York that melted the support steel structure.
cooling liquid would make cold fires idiot, how would that melt steel?
Actually, if you want to take what I said seriously, cooling liquids just have a high termal capacity and decent or high termal conductivity as well as being at the liquid stage at the temperature range they’re supposed to work in: a cooling liquid by itself it does not cool anything, it just absorbs heat from the environment on one side of the circuit, carries that heat somewhere else and releases it to the environment there and after that it circulates back to absorb some more heat and so on - the name “cooling liquid” is somewhat deceitful since those liquids work by transporting heat from a hot side to a cold side rather than making things cooler by their mere presence.
There are plenty of combustible fluids which fit the criteria and could be used as liquid coolants. Whether it would be wise to use a combustible liquid (worse, one which would burn at a high enough temperature to melt, or at least to soften, steel) for cooling computers is an entirelly different matter altogether.
The idea of a cooling liquid that’s combustible is actually the “it’s absolutelly possible” part of my post and not the “stupid” part.
yeah sorry bud but i’ve done my own research and cooling liquids burn cold, i won’t fall for your industry propaganda.
Jet fuel indeed doesn’t burn hot enough to melt steel. Forging temperature, OTOH, no issue.
You don’t understand, steel is either solid or melted. No in-between. No idea what you mean by forging temperature, swords for example are forged by pouring liquid steel to a form, it’s in so many movies!
/s obviously.
When I started reading these comments I didn’t expect them to be full of actual, unironic conspiracy theories. 🤔
Dinosaurs are a lie created by the wizards to hide the existence of dragons.
The wizards hunted dragons to extinction because their wings made good spell components and they want to dodge responsibility for it.
Its ugly, but it’s true.
Then the warlocks killed off all the wizards for taking away their sources of power. It’s why you don’t see magic in use today. The wizards have all been killed off and the warlocks have no entities left to pact with.
