I MISSED IT!?
It’s currently September 19th
Imagine if what qualified to get raptured were believing in it. The world would be so much better without all those people!
Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!
Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.
Better yet, if you get enough people to listen to you, start saying you’re Jesus.
totally not cult behavior
Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!
It’s your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I’m sure as shit not getting raptured.
Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here’s my bank info - I won’t need money anymore!!
No worries, friend - doggos to the left, wallets to the right - peace be with you and whatnot!
Oh, shit, I’m still here… Can I have my wallet and dog back please?!?
I’m not going to steal your dog, but refunds are unavailable in the event that the rapture or your participation in it is cancelled - sorry.
Jesus. Obvs.
Pretty sure pouring wine onto plants will kill them.