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The secret fourth kind is ‘we applied a standard theory to their map of every tree and got some suspicious results.’
There is also “We did nothing of value”
Aka “we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and got the expected result” - one can argue it does help in a way by providing another dataset although it didn’t really accomplish anything it can be useful for student research projects in that field.
No I meant wasting time with useless stuff
What about ‘we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and somehow the results aren’t right and it’s probably our fault’
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny …”
Business as usual, just another day at the lab. People using actual real world samples instead of the expensive standards to produce a very messy calibration squiggle. Also, the machine probably requires some maintenance from time to time.
Should just assume a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum for simplicity’s sake 🤷
The one I see the most is:
“We avoided any semblance of rational experimental design and got significant results.”
We were awarded grant money from a corporation and got results that are favourable to them but require further grants to really boost that evidence up a notch, wink wink
Don’t forget “these are novel circumstances and so we attempted something, but really the circumstances are so novel that just documenting them is pretty neat”